


A Hard Won Trust

by orphan_account



Series: That Which is Lost [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 9k later, F/M, M/M, Post TFA, Redemption, but then it got a case of the feels, slight dom/sub undertones, study in what consent means in a world where the Force exists, this was supposed to be a quick porny oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:57:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe is recaptured by the Order following the events of The Force Awakens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hard Won Trust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gaylo_ben](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylo_ben/gifts).



> So this was seriously supposed to be a very quick porny one shot where Kylo Ren discovers that he has a thing for Poe in chains.....and then it turned into a discussion on the importance of consent, Ben Solo's redemption and the boys journey to find each other again.
> 
> It may not be a perfect fill and fit with what your prompt was (although there is always room for sequels and porny spinoffs) but I hope you like it hun.
> 
> Also it's really dark to start but I promise there's fluff at the end.

“Sir, we have retrieved the pilot, he is being detained in the cell block for questioning.”

Kylo Ren turned to assess the trooper who had pulled his attention away from the bridge of the Finalizer. “And the Hosnian refugees he had been escorting?”

“Eliminated Sir.”

Excellent, that resolved one matter regarding the intelligence the Resistance pilot had gained access to, now to deal with the man himself. “Inform General Hux I will begin my interrogation immediately FN-2671.”

“Yes Sir,” the trooper provided a quick salute and then hurried away to find General Hux. 

Kylo took a brief moment to savor this victory, to imagine how wonderful it would be to finally crush the life out of Dameron, to finally rid himself of the last real connection he had to Ben Organa-Solo, one that had always been far stronger than his ties to either General Organa or Solo.

Yes, he was going to relish this.

Although, upon entering the cell that Dameron was being held in all plans involving the pilot’s death were brought to a swift halt.

He had expected to find the Resistance pilot restrained and spitting curses and sarcastic comments at anyone within earshot, after all, that had been how their last encounter had progressed. Instead he found Dameron unconscious, curled on his side on the floor of the cell. His shirt was in tatters, barely clinging to his torso, a long rip down the side revealing a nasty burn stretching across his ribcage. His hair was a mess of dark curls matted with blood, his usually dark skin pale from blood loss. 

Kylo briefly registered each of these as he took stock of the pilot's condition, but the one thing that drew the bulk of his attention, the one thing that blanked out all other thoughts was the gleaming metal collar around Dameron’s neck. A shining metallic shackle that rested snugly around his throat, secured to the wall by a thin length of chain. It suited Dameron, almost looked as though it had always belonged there.

To see Dameron bound up like some sort of pet or plaything reignited a heat in Kylo’s belly that he hadn’t felt since his youth, since he had been Ben Organa-Solo, skulking in corners and pining for this golden boy. He had both adored and hated his mother’s pretty little favorite, his best friend, and had constantly daydreamed of all the ways this man was meant to be his. 

He was so distracted by his own thoughts, by the sudden reversal of his emotions and thoughts regarding Dameron, that he did not even hear the cell doors open behind him and he only just refrained from startling when Hux spoke.

“He was severely injured during his capture,” commented Hux as he surveyed the scene before him with disinterest. “A graze from a blaster to his side, a broken wrist and a shattered kneecap. He has been unconscious for several hours and yet they still felt the need to chain him up like some sort of dangerous animal. It truly speaks to how deeply his first escape unsettled Phasma and those under her command.”

“Indeed,” Kylo responded, still unwilling to tear his eyes away from the vision laid out before him and face Hux.

“Little matter,” Hux continued on with a huff, his tone and voice grating on Kylo. “His execution has already been authorized. A firing squad will do away with him and all he knows the moment he awakens.”

That would certainly not due. If anyone was going to kill Dameron it would be Kylo, and now, after seeing how pretty he looked in chains, after recalling what he had meant to Kylo, how the Force had drawn them together. No, he was not so willing to part with his new pet just yet. 

Beyond that, what a delicious way to bring the Resistance to heel. To place their poster boy at his feet, it would be utterly demoralizing. 

Winning Dameron to his side, to have the other man come to him willingly, it would take time and liberal application of the Force, but it would be worth it in the end. No, Dameron would not die today.

“His execution will be postponed indefinately,” commanded Kylo, his voice even and calm as a sharp gesture ripped the chain holding Dameron in place from the wall and sent it soaring across the room and into his outstretched hand. 

Hux was left sputtering, “he is a dangerous criminal who must be executed publicly. Such a show of force will cripple the Resistance.”

“He is also a valuable hostage,” responded Kylo as he moved across the room, stooping down to pull Dameron to him, cradling the other man in his arms as he stood. He brushed a soothing hand through the pilots curls when the man let out a sharp cry of pain as his leg was jostled, a bright burst of the Force pushing the pilot under further so he would feel nothing. “He will be held in my quarters at all times until I deem his reconditioning satisfactory, and then, then he will be a powerful propaganda piece for us to demoralize the Resistance.”

“Ren, the Supreme Leader...” Hux began as Kylo moved past him.

“Will care very little for the fate of a single pilot, especially one that I believe might still be of use to us, but if you deem it necessary to undermine my orders than by all means, inform the Supreme Leader of my actions, I am sure he will see the logic in my decision.” Kylo was confident he would as well. Dameron would be a distraction for him, yes, but in Snoke’s eyes he would also be a puppet, a treasured plaything that would only serve to bind Kylo tighter to Dark Side.

It mattered so very little to him now what either Hux or Snoke thought, not when he had his pilot collared and in his arms, head pressed to Kylo’s chest, soft whimpers of pain passing his lips each time Kylo’s movements shifted him. No, nothing mattered now except for the prize in his arms and what he would mould this man into.

__

Poe woke slowly and gradually, an odd feeling for someone so accustomed to having to be awake and alert in an instant. Wherever he was the bed was soft, far more comfortable than his lumpy cot back at the base or the chair that he routinely fell asleep in at Finn’s bedside as he waited for the other man to wake up. Hell, even the sheets were silky and smooth beneath him. But none of that was what had him jerking up in the bed. It was the unfamiliar weight of something cold and solid against his throat that alerted him to the fact that something had gone very, very wrong. 

"Calm yourself pet," a voice echoed through his mind, Poe’s eyes darting around the room as he searched for it’s source. "You’ll only injure yourself further if you continue to fuss. Stay as you are, I will be there momentarily."

That voice in his head did little to soothe Poe, not when he took in his surroundings. Plain, nondescript sleeping quarters, a bed, a desk, a table of some sort containing what appeared to be ash - and Poe certainly did not want to take even a moment to consider where exactly those ashes might have come from - all of this paired with the voice in his head and what he could recall from before he was knocked unconscious indicated exactly one thing, the First Order had captured him once more.

His wrist and knee were still broken, he could tell from the way they throbbed each time he shifted, but someone had bandaged the blaster wound, bathed him and changed his clothing, removing his shirt and leaving him in a pair of loose black sleep pants. Being stripped, bathed and changed while unconscious was unsettling enough, but the way he was collared and chained to the wall like some sort of disobedient pet carried implications of plans that Poe very much hoped would not come to fruition. After all, he had recognized that voice in his head, and he had not been as blind to Ben’s feelings for him in his youth as the other boy had always thought he had been.

He wasn’t left to dwell on his thoughts for very long as the door hissed open in front of him and Kylo Ren stepped into the room. He was clad in all black, mask firmly in place. “Comfortable?” He asked, an echo of the last time they had seen each other.

“Not really,” responded Poe.

Kylo didn’t return the quip, instead just removed his mask and placed it on the table. It was the first time Poe had seen him without it, the first time he had seen the other man’s face in years, and it was jarring to say the least. He’d aged well, his hair was longer and he’d grown into his features, although now there was a long jagged scar crossing his face courtesy of Rey. “Is there a reason I am not dead yet Ben, I thought the First Order was willing to do anything to ensure that the information about Snoke’s true identity did not get into the wrong hands, even going so far as to slaughter a ship full of innocent Hosnian refugees simply to get to Ankail and I.” Ankail, the old Rebellion pilot who had remembered the galaxy under the Empire, who had known Poe’s mother and father. He had carried rumors of Snoke and the whispered name of Plagueis and because of that he had been struck down, put on his knees, blaster bolt between the eyes as Poe watched in horror, unable to move to help. Now he was the only one left alive who carried that information, information that desperately needed to get back to Skywalker and Rey if there was any hope of winning this war.

“I’d advise you remember that Ben Organa-Solo is dead, you may call me Kylo Ren.” Poe only just barely held back a snort of derision at the dramatics of it all, but he knew that in his current condition it was not in his best interest to antagonize the other man. “You were to be executed today,” Kylo continued on, “but I intervened. General Hux was of a mind that your public execution would have a lasting impact on the Resistance’s morale. I however realized that you could serve a far better purpose.”

“Is that why I am chained to the wall like some sort of prize, knee and wrist broken to ensure I won’t go anywhere. It’s clever too, keeping me in this state. If you don’t bother to set them properly you’ll manage to cripple me for life. It will be much easier to keep me here against my will.” It was all true too, if no one bothered to splint his wrist or rebuild his kneecap then he would be lucky to ever walk again, much less pilot an x-wing.

Kylo Ren simply shook his head as he sat down beside Poe, ignoring the way the pilot tried to shuffle back and put more distance between them. “You’re a prize yes, my prize, but I have no intention of leaving you injured and in pain. I take care of those things that belong to me.” He laid a gentle hand on Poe’s thigh, warmth radiating outward through Poe’s veins. Joints cracked, Poe let out a sharp gasp as bones popped back into place and suddenly nothing, no more pain, like his bones had never been broken in the first place. 

“Kriff, I had forgotten how weird Force healing could be,” he muttered, dragging his healed hand through his hair. “So what, you fix me and I’m supposed to be grateful, fall into bed with you, do whatever you want and play the part of the obedient pet.” Poe’s eyes were hard as he reached up to tug on the chain holding him in place, jangling it. “You may have forgotten, but I am still here very much against my will.”

Kylo let out a sharp sigh, “I had hoped you would be more agreeable, easier to coerce, but I can’t say I am surprised. I did expect resistance, you would not be so appealing if you caved too easily to a simple act of kindness.” Kylo shifted closer again, hand coming up to brush across Poe’s temple, a sharp searing pain accompanying that soft touch touch, tendrils of darkness spreading through Poe’s mind. “But it is little matter, not when I can twist your thoughts and memories as I choose to create my own place in your affections. It won’t even be difficult, a tug on a memory here, a carefully layered command there and suddenly you’re mine forever.”

Or it should have been easy. Kylo had been inside of Poe’s mind before, plucked a information from his mind as easy as breathing. But now, when he actually tried to warp his thoughts, he was met with a deep rooted resistance. Each time he had a memory or thought within his grasp, they slipped away, slithering out of reach.

Poe could feel it too, could sense Kylo’s struggle and bared his teeth at the Force user in a wolfish grin despite the pain that was lancing through his skull. “Did you really think it would be that easy?” He grit out. “I may not have the strength of a Jedi, but I am Force Sensitive and I grew up in the shade of a Force Tree, that offers me some protections.” 

It did, but not against someone as powerful as Kylo, or at least it shouldn’t. Kylo had known Poe as a boy, had seen exactly what Poe's level of skill with the Force amounted to, which was little more than weak mental shields and an odd intuition and pervasive sort of luck that made him such a superb pilot. The resistance he felt here did not mesh with his memories of the pilots abilities, it was almost has though someone had specifically trained him to resist this sort of manipulation. Kylo pressed harder, Poe’s head slamming back into the wall behind him, collared throat bared as he struggled for breath. 

“You may have free reign to look at my memories,” Poe gasped out, “but my mother was Shara Bey. She knew what the Empire could do, what the Dark Side was capable of and she taught me how to protect myself from those who would try to change me, to manipulate my thoughts." Another burst of pain cut Poe off, left him shaking and gasping, only continuing on when he gathered up just enough strength to spit out a few more words. "And when she passed, Luke Skywalker himself took over and made sure I was armed with the ability to protect myself from the likes of you.”

Kylo dropped his hand away, the pressure vanishing from Poe’s mind. He hadn’t known that, hadn’t known any of it and he and Poe had shared so much when they were children. “You never told me.”

“You mean I never told Ben that,” Poe snarled, “after all, you are claiming to be someone else, claiming that Ben is dead. I never told Ben because it wasn’t important, because Ben would never try to do what you just attempted to do.”

Ben Organa-Solo was weak, he had never possessed the power that Kylo did and had he, well, his relationship with Poe would have been very different.

But now, thanks to his uncle, he would once again be denied that pleasure. It was infuriating how his Uncle continued to keep everything he wanted just out of reach, just as he had done when Kylo was a boy. 

Kylo stood abruptly, striding across the room and placing his mask on once more. “You are not to leave these quarters, I will return later.”

“I eagerly await your return, Poe bit out just as the door closed behind Kylo, sarcasm and disdain dripping from each word.

That attitude would have to be dealt with, and soon.

__

Kylo avoided Poe for three days after their initial interaction, leaving the pilot to his own devices with only the troopers who brought in food for him and released him several times a day so that he could relieve himself, for company. But then word reached him that the man was refusing to eat and it became clear that he would need to intervene before he caused serious harm to his person.

When Kylo returned to his quarters he found the brunette curled up on the bed, knees to his chest, arm pillowed beneath his head and a bowl of thin broth untouched on the table beside the bed.

“If you were so intent on dying there would be far easier methods than starving yourself.” Poe cracked one eye open, briefly assessing Kylo before closing it once more and continuing to ignore the other man’s presence. “I would advise eating what is brought to you, it will be far more pleasant than being dragged to the Med Bay and having a feeding tube shoved down your throat which I will be forced to do should you continue to remain obstinate.”

Poe opened his eyes now, shifting on the bed so he was now sitting upright facing Kylo, but he still refrained from responding.

“I understand your reticence to trust me, but you do need to eat.”

“Why haven’t you gotten it over with yet?” Poe’s words were sharp, intended to demand answers but some of the effect was lost due to the roughness of his voice from disuse and the fact that Kylo had not even the slightest inkling of what he was referring to.

“Killing you? I had assumed you already realized I had no intention of harming you in any way. If that were the case I would not have bothered to heal your injuries.” If anything, all he wanted now was to care for Poe and for the other man to appreciate that care.

Poe just raised and eyebrow and then made a lewd gesture with his hands. Ah, so that is what he meant, insulting that he would think Kylo would treat him so crudely. 

“You truly believe I would be capable of stooping to that level, that I would rape you. I had understood the Resistance had painted me as some sort of monster but I hadn’t realized they had gone this far,” and he wouldn’t rape Poe. He had killed many and regretted so little of it, but he would never do that to Poe, he wanted Poe to come to him willingly, to love and care for him as any loyal pet should. He didn't just want to have Poe in the physical sense, he wanted to own him body and soul. To have everything about him from that lovely body of his to his trust, his devotion and his obedience.

“You already tried to, earlier, with my thoughts, my memories, my free will,” Poe’s voice was soft as he spoke.

Kylo only shook his head indulgently at his little pets misunderstanding and moved across the room to sit beside him, “no, that was nothing like what you were implying. I was trying to expand your thoughts, to mould your mind to be better suited to your current surroundings, to be better suited to me.” Foolish of Poe to think otherwise, no, what Kylo had attempted to do was nothing like what he was implying. It was simply a necessity brought on by Poe’s insistence to cling to the ideals the Resistance had ingrained in him even though it was so clear that the Force was bringing them together, that destiny wanted him by Kylo’s side.

Kylo could read the incredulity that spread across Poe’s features. “Force, you actually believe that don’t you. Tell me, did Snoke twist your thoughts so much that you wouldn’t know consent if it smacked you upside the head or were you always like this and I was just blind to it.”

“You would have wanted...”

“Because of what you would have turned me into, what you tried to take from me,” Poe cut in, his tone rising in pitch and volume. “That is not consent, it’s a violation of who and what I am that is probably worse than if you actually physically forced yourself upon me.”

No, none of this was right, none of it could be right. Poe was meant for him, they were destined for each other, that was why he had stayed his hand not once, but twice when he was given the opportunity to kill the other man. The Dark Side is what finally gave him the strength to win Poe, to keep him, all that was needed was to give Poe an extra push to realize this as well then there was nothing wrong with using the Force to achieve this...was there? Poe would still be willing, would still want Kylo but would that really be because of what Kylo had made him want, was that actually how he wanted to win the pilot to his side or was there some other way he might gain his affection, some way that wouldn't breed enmity and disdain in the pilot's heart. Kylo’s thoughts had been thrown into disarray, all by the argument of one man who should be nothing, should mean nothing, but here he was, the light pushing through once more because of this foolish, reckless, idiotic pilot. 

He found himself standing abruptly, turning away from Poe and making his way out of his quarters, only pausing briefly at the doorway for one quick parting comment, “you need to eat.” And he needed time to collect himself to center himself, remind himself of what his true purpose was.

__

It is time to finish this game Ben, do not repeat the same mistakes I made.

__

Poe was shocked when the door hissed open less than an hour after Kylo’s hasty departure, even more shocked when the chain that restrained him was ripped from the wall and flew across the room into the mans outstretched hand, Poe stumbling off of the bed and into Kylo’s arms after it.

“We are leaving now,” he snapped, tugging on the chain and pulling Poe out of the room behind him.

“Whoa, whoa, where the kriff do you think your taking me,” Poe tried digging his heels in, but it was useless and his bare feet merely skidded across the cold metal floor.

Kylo came to an abrupt halt outside of the hanger bay, tugging Poe in close once more and ignoring the stares of the passing troopers and officers. “Do you want your freedom or not?” he growled out, voice low enough that no one but Poe would hear him.

Poe’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the taller man, “obviously you nerf herder, but you didn’t even give me a hint of what you wanted or where we were going and even if you had what reason do I have to trust you?”

“Your options are limited, so unfortunately for you, you are going to have to believe me regarding this. Now play your part and maybe I can get you off of this ship alive.” Kylo turned again, taking off at a brisk pace and this time Poe stayed close, keeping his head down and trying his best to not draw attention to either of them.

Kylo was headed for the epsilon class carrier Poe had seen him use in the past. With his skill as a pilot and the abilities that he hoped Kylo had retained from his youth, the two of them would be able to handle it without an additional pilot or troopers. It was smart, Kylo could make some excuse for the flight and they could silently make their escape. 

But of course none of this was easy and their path to the ship was suddenly cut off by General Hux, bringing Kylo to an immediate halt, Poe almost crashing into his back.

“You’ve put in a flight request, I am curious as to why considering you have been rather preoccupied by your pretty little pilot as of late.” Hux glanced around Kylo, passing a critical eye over the pilot, noting the way he was rather intent on the floor, bare feet shuffling from side to side, clad only in a pair of loose black sleep pants. “You have broken him in I am assuming, if not surely you must understand that I cannot authorize the departure of a dangerous criminal from the confines of the Finalizer. 

Ah, so that is what Kylo was playing at. Not the worst plan in the world, nor was it totally unprecedented for Poe. Jessika still wouldn’t let him or Snap live down that time they had to pretend to be boyfriends to get out of a sticky situation. He could do this, could play the part of the meek little submissive if that was what was needed to get him out of here.

Kylo tugged Poe around, pulling him into his arm, hands settling on his waist in a tight grip. Poe kept his eyes down, shifting back to press further into Kylo, to play the part. “I can assure you, Dameron is well aware of his place.”

Poe could almost feel Hux’s stare, the carefully scrutiny he was applying to Poe. It was going to take far more than a quiet demeanor and downcast eyes to convince. He reached up, curling one hand behind Kylo’s neck, the other in the material stretched across his chest, moulding his body against the other man, tucking his head into the crook of Kylo’s neck, eyes going half lidded as he looked up at Hux. He knew what he must look like, body gone soft and pliant, half naked looking like the fucked out toy. He could only hope Hux would buy the ploy and assume Poe was harmless.

Hux did, thankfully. “I’m impressed Ren, I hadn’t actually thought you would be successful with this one. I had rather assumed you had failed when the troopers reported to me that he was refusing to eat and that you had spent so little time in his presence, but it would appear those reports were wrong.”

Kylo’s voice was low and threatening when he spoke, “Sometimes these things require time to take hold.” His hand curled in Poe’s hair, jerking his head up, drawing a pained gasp from Poe. “He was resistant, but I appear to have successfully reconditioned this one, this flight shall be the final test.”

“Then you will require a unit to accompany you, yes?”

“No, should he grow out of control I will be the only one who can reign him in. Any additional accompaniment might trigger something within him.” 

Oh, well played Kylo, very well played, Poe thought. Hux seemed skeptical, but waived them off none the less and Poe let out a deep sigh of relief when Kylo finally dragged him onto them the ship. 

“You’re capable of flying this, yes?” Kylo demanded removing his helmet the moment they were alone on the ship.

“With you as co-pilot, yeah, I’ll manage,” Poe responded, already flipping switches on and running through the necessary pre-journey checks.

“Good, set a flight course for Takodana, Maz will be able to get you back to the Resistance.”

Poe turned in his seat to stare at the other man. “Why are you doing this, what changed?” He needed to know, now that it was fairly clear this wasn’t some elaborate trick - although he wouldn’t count that out until he was back on base and this whole ordeal was behind him.

Kylo’s mouth was downturned in a deep frown, but surprisingly, he gave Poe the answer he was looking for. “I realize now what Snoke did, what he turned me into by using what I was lead to believe was my grandfather’s legacy, but Darth Vader is not the only thing Anakin Skywalker had to offer the galaxy. Snoke played on my insecurities, my desires, in an effort to convince me that I was destined for the Dark Side, but I see now how he was wrong”

“Why now, what could have possibly changed?” everyone knew the Skywalker’s history, knew what Anakin had been before Vader. Ben had known this and still chosen to try to complete Vader’s work.

Kylo carefully avoided Poe’s eyes as he responded. “You changed things. You changed all of it. Snoke turned me into a monster and right now all I can see you as is a prize to be won or a pet to be kept, but that doesn’t mean I cannot remember what it felt like to love you.” Kylo stepped forward so he was now standing behind where Poe was seated, one hand landing heavily on the pilots shoulder, the other winding through his curls and using his grip to tug his eyes upward to meet Kylo’s gaze. “And I did love you, since I was old enough to understand what it meant to really love someone. Snoke made me believe that I wanted to own you, or keep you and he used that to further perverse my thoughts and turn me into what I am now. But now that I have you here, I can remember what that love felt like, how all I really wanted was for you to trust me with every part of you, and it felt far better than whatever this is,” he released Poe’s head and gestured between the two of them. “And now, now I’m going to try to set things to rights, to avoid the mistakes of my grandfather. But if I am going to do this then you will also have a part to play, and you’re of no aid to anyone locked in a First Order cell.”

“So this is real, you’re really going to help the Resistance?”

“Yes Poe Dameron, this is very much real.”

__

Everything happened so quickly. His return to base, Rey and Luke Skywalker’s return, Finn waking up, a near suicidal run on the First Order’s new base and then suddenly it was all over. Years of working to defeat the Order, years of never knowing what mission might be your last and then nothing. It left Poe a bit at a loss, unsettled and unsure of what to do with himself. 

The First Order had been defeated, a few officers including Hux and Phasma were captured, but most of them had been killed during the cleverly orchestrated Storm Trooper revolt lead by Finn. Snoke, or rather Plagueis, had been killed by the combined efforts of Luke, Rey and Ky.....no, Ben, the three of them returning on the Falcon only a day behind Finn’s return from the Finalizer and Poe’s bombing run.

It was so strange having Ben back, seeing him reconciled with his family, grudgingly accepted by the Resistance even as the organization was slowly disbanding, making room for the Third Republic to rise up - same as had happened following the fall of the Empire, proving once more that the entire galaxy was doomed to continue to repeat the same cycle over and over again and now wasn’t that a depressing thought.

So Poe avoided Ben, avoided almost everyone save Snap and Jessika, for over three weeks. He even avoided the General until he was finally ready to tender his resignation. After so long with the Resistance, fighting the sort of war they had been, he knew he would chafe under the Third Republics new military structure, even if he did take a position in the high command.

General Organa had seemed largely unsurprised when he came to her which was a small comfort to Poe. She even gifted him Black One and BB-8 - not that the tiny astromech could ever be parted from him anyway - as part of his pension when he mustered out. 

So now all that was left was for him to figure out what he was going to do with the rest of his life. He was sitting on enough credits - he’d never really had a chance to spend much of his meager salary - that he wouldn’t need to work more than a few odd jobs here and there to make it through for a few years. Traveling sounded nice, exploring the galaxy for a bit, a little bit of trouble, a little bit of danger, putting as much distance between himself and Ben as was possible until he managed to sort out his feelings towards the newly reformed man.

So of course Ben managed to track him down just as he was preparing to leave base permanently.

“I heard a rumor you were trying to sneak away without so much as a goodbye, I rather hoped that wasn’t the case,” a voice called out from behind Poe as he shoved a rucksack containing those few belongings he actually wanted to take with him into the cramped cockpit of Black One. 

Poe glanced over his shoulder at Ben - he looked good in the tan and brown colors the Jedi order seemed to always favor, hair pulled back in a loose messy bun - before returning his focus to packing for the journey ahead. “Without a war to fight there’s not much left for a soldier like myself to do around here and it seemed like the right time,” and he had said the goodbyes he needed to, the General, Finn, Rey, Snap and Jessika, a com message to Kare and Iolo who were out scouting Force knows where for the Third Republic already.

“You could stay you know, I’m sure they’ll be clamoring to give you a nice shiny admiral title, maybe even General. You could stay, it’s not as though your lacking for options here,” Poe had to wonder if Ben was completely oblivious to how desperately Poe didn’t want to be here in this moment or if he was being intentionally obtuse.

“Nah, not really my thing,” Poe stepped down, finally turning to face the taller brunette fully. “What about you though? I’m sure they have big plans for you now,” he couldn’t help it as the little bit of bite bled into his voice. He knew that Kylo Ren and what he had done to Poe, on two separate occasions, was not who Ben really was, but that didn’t erase what had happened, didn’t cure what Kylo Ren had done. “What was it the General had mentioned, Senator maybe?”

Ben looked down, shuffling his feet back and forth, just like he had always done when he was nervous when they were kids. “It was suggested, but it’s not for me. I’d rather stay away from a position where I could wield that particular sort of power. Rey and Uncle are going to reopen the Academy and asked if I would be an instructor. I think I would like teaching, helping other Force users grow and choose the right path, ensuring what happened to me doesn’t happen again. We leave in a week or two to scout locations. Uncle is favoring Yavin while Rey seems to prefer Takodana.”

“And what about you, if you had your choice?” asked Poe.

Ben paused, faced scrunching up in that adorable way it always did when he was thinking, clearly no one had asked him that question yet. “Naboo, I think, in honor of my grandmother. It would be a good place to raise younglings.”

“Good, it seems like it would be a good fit, something you could enjoy,” or at least he thought Ben would enjoy having a chance to redeem himself after what he had done to his fellow students, speaking of, “what about the other Knights of Ren, those that followed you after the...after you...after the first time?” Poe asked, stumbling over his own words in his efforts to soften them.

“Disbanded, for the most part, their numbers were dwindling as is. A few have expressed interest in aiding in the development of the Academy but Uncle will have to vet them before they are allowed anywhere near the trainees.”

“Good.”

A long silence stretched between them, both men shifting uncomfortably as Poe searched for a way to end this conversation and make his escape while Ben hunted for some way to desperately apologize for what he put Poe through.

“Well, I’d best be off,” not the greatest exit line, but it was the best Poe could do given the way his brain seemed to have shut down. “A whole galaxy is out there waiting for me.”

He turned to leave, to finish getting Black One ready when a strong hand clamped around his wrist, only to drop away a moment later when Poe flinched at the contact.

“Poe, I.....” Ben trailed off, searching for the right thing to say. “I’m sorry for everything, for what I put you through, for what I tried to do. I can see it now that what I did to you, what I wanted to turn you into would have taken away your agency, your free will. It would have been a violation of the worst kind and you have to understand that this is not what I want now. What I did, that wasn’t me, that was what Snoke turned me into. I was so desperate and the moment I saw you in chains was like some sort of revelation and something was triggered within me, and for that I am so very very sorry.”

Poe had, and at the same time, had not been expecting the apology, or rather he hadn’t expected it to sound so very sincere. So of course he blurted out the one thing he hadn’t wanted to tell Ben. “I loved you too, when we were younger,” shock spread across Ben’s face the moment the words slipped from Poe’s mouth and even though Poe desperately wished he could take them back - he knew this would only complicate their already fractured relationship - but he just continued to babble on. “And I knew, or at least I thought, you felt the same. We were just so young and I didn’t know if what you felt was real or just a passing crush. You were my best friend and I couldn’t bear the thought of an attempt at a romantic relationship ruining what we had. I was so kriffing scared that I didn’t do anything about how I felt until suddenly it was too late and you were gone.” Poe’s hands were shaking as he spoke, nerves evident in his voice. “And I know that Kylo Ren is not who you are, that he was just what Snoke turned you into, but every time I look at you all I can feel is you reaching inside my mind and ripping it apart.” Poe could feel tears welling up in his eyes as the breakdown that had been coming for the last several weeks crashed down on top of him. “And it hurts so bad because I think I still care about you so much, still love you but you just make me so afraid because I know what you can do, I am intimately familiar with the power you have at your fingertips,” Poe choked out through the tears.

Ben wasted no time pulling Poe into a tight hug, shushing him and running a calming hand through his hair as the pilot sobbed into his chest. “I didn’t know sweetheart, I am so sorry,” this changed things, changed everything and at the same time made what he had done to Poe that much worse. He pressed a soft kiss to Poe’s head as he felt the sobs slowly taper off into sniffles and leaned back so he could get a good look at the shorter man. “That’s why you’re avoiding me, because I scare you...”

“And I can’t handle being in love with someone who frightens me so much,” Poe finished for him. “I’m sorry.”

A wan smile spread across Ben’s features, “you’re not the one who needs to apologize Poe, you never did..” Ben faltered as he tried to force the words out. “I just...you...I,” he paused, took a deep breath, closing his eyes and centering himself once more. “I’m not going to stop you from leaving, you need this, and it is forward of me to ask, especially considering everything we’ve been through, what I’ve put you through, but I am going to ask that you allow me this one liberty as we may very well never see each other again. May I kiss you?”

Poe looked up at his best friend, his childhood sweetheart, saw the calm look in his eyes and the soft fondness in the upward tilt of his lips and found himself nodding.

The breath Ben had been holding came out in one long relieved sigh and he leaned down, pausing for a fraction of a second, giving Poe an opportunity to pull away or change his mind before leaning down and pressing in for a soft, sweet kiss.

The first touch of their lips, their first kiss, was electric, Poe’s hands coming up to wind into the fabric of Ben’s robes, neither pushing the man away nor pulling him in, simply using the touch to stabilize himself so he wouldn’t be swept away with the passion and love behind that kiss. One of Ben’s hands came up to cup his cheek, deepening the kiss and dragging a soft moan from Poe, the other wrapping around his waist, pulling him in closer.

The kiss was gentle and slow, nothing like he had ever imagined it would be. At eighteen he had always thought their first kiss would be something rushed and fumbling, over too quick, all they could get in the brief moments they saw each other between their duties. When he had been captured he had assumed it would have been something brutal, harsh, and entirely one sided. But this, this was something soft and sensual, entirely too different from what Poe had managed to conjure up in his head, and at the same time it couldn’t have been more perfect.

When Ben finally pulled away he found himself chasing the other man’s lips, eyes fluttering open just in time to see the amused look in Ben’s eyes as he looked down at Poe.

“Thank you Poe, I’ll treasure this memory of you for as long as I live,” Ben dropped another soft kiss to Poe’s forehead before stepping back away from the pilot.

Poe was at a loss for words, floundering as he tried to find something to say but somehow Ben knew exactly what was needed. “Take care of yourself Poe, and I love you,” and then he was turning away, striding out of the hanger and leaving Poe standing their, hair a mess, lips kiss bruised.

BB-8, who had remained silent up to this point from where he was waiting patiently in Black One, gave a soft concerned sound.

“I’m ok BB,” Poe responded as he climbed into the fighter, settling in for the long trip ahead. “I’ll be ok, but let’s get out of here, alright?”

BB-8 responded with an excited trill of beeps before throwing a set of coordinates up on the screen in front of Poe.

“Mandalore? Really?” Poe asked with an incredulous laugh. “Yeah, sure, why not buddy. Might as well see how much trouble we can cause right off the bat right. Alright let’s do this.”

This is exactly what Poe needed, freedom and a distraction. Yes, this might just help him finally clear his head.

__

3 Years Later  
Naboo

Naboo was so beautiful that Poe was almost sad he had waited three years to visit this particular planet, then again, he had his reasons, reasons he hopes he has now gotten over.

“Poe,” he heard Rey’s shout as he climbed out of the X-wing, feet hitting the ground about the same time she and Finn managed to wade their way through the small group of padawans who had come to gawk at the fighter as it landed.

“Rey, Finn!” he greeted, arm around each of their shoulders to pull them in for a quick hug, careful of the little bundle in the sling draped across Finn’s chest. “And our little princess Nia,” he cooed down at the little girl peering up at him. Her skin was a shade lighter than Finn’s and she had his same dark expressive eyes but Rey’s delicate features. He didn’t have much experience with babies, but she was one of the prettiest ones he had ever seen. “How have things been?” he asked returning his attentions to her parents. “Not causing too much trouble without me to reign you in now are you?”

Rey let out a snort of laughter and Finn simply rolled his eyes. “Things have been going great,” Rey responded. “We have about twenty students right now and more are showing up all the time. Luke and I handle the older students, but Ben handles anyone younger than ten which is the bulk of the group. He really is amazing with kids, I hadn’t expected that.”

“He is also here to collect his charges,” cut in a sharp voice. “Come on now younglings, back to meditation.”

Poe glanced around Rey and Finn to watch as Ben ushered about twelve or so kids back towards a deck for meditation. Ben looked good, really good actually. He was still as tall as ever, but his skin was a bit darker than the last time Poe had seen him, a smattering of freckles across his cheeks and a shy smile on his lips. 

Rey, who was as painfully perceptive as always and had noticed Poe staring, edged her way over to Ben, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Finn and I can take them off your hands for you, you and Poe should catch up. BB-8 can stay with us too.” Finn was nodding behind her and BB-8 letting out a happy sounding trill.

Ben looked over at Poe, assessing the changes in the smaller man just as Poe had looked him over only a moment before. His hair was a bit longer, wild curls, a bit of silver coming in near the temples and the laugh lines around his eyes were deeper, but Poe was still largely the same, still as perfect as ever in Ben’s eyes. “My home’s not far, if you would like a chance to talk in private”

Poe pulled his bag up a little higher on his shoulder as he nodded. No time like the present to dive right in it seemed. “Lead the way.”

They made their way to a small home on the outskirts of the small village the Jedi had set up in relative silence, Ben only breaking it when they had stepped inside. “It’s not much,” he commented, “But it suites me I think.”

It really wasn’t much either, one large room, a bed shoved against one wall, tiny kitchenette, a pair of chipped mugs sitting on the counter, a door that must have lead to the fresher to the left. It was homey and cozy, and since Poe had spent the last three years living out of a cockpit it was actually more luxury than he had enjoyed in a long time. “It’s nice Ben, really, really nice,” he responded.

Ben puttered around the kitchen starting a kettle of hot water for tea as Poe dropped his bag by the door. “So, what brings you to Naboo?” Ben asked as he avoided Poe’s eyes.

Poe moved across the room to grip Ben’s elbow and turn him around “I came to see Finn and Rey’s newest addition, but I also came to see you, to talk to you about...well, everything.”

Ben looked equal parts concerned and hopeful as he shut off the kettle, turning to face Poe, motioning for the slighter man to continue. Instead of continuing on Poe surged up onto the balls of his feet, hand wrapping around the back of Ben’s neck, and pulling him down into a searing kiss. 

Ben froze, flailing for a moment before he finally got with it, both arms coming around Poe to pull the pilot in closer, sighing into the kiss as it slowed down to an unhurried pace, simply enjoying the feeling of Poe pressed up against him.

When Poe pulled away his cheeks were flushed and his eyes wide and dark. “Sorry, I hadn’t..that’s not what I really meant when I said I wanted to talk...I mean it was nice, I liked it and I’ve wanted to do that for the last....” Ben cut him off with another kiss, this one short and sweet, “and you really need to not do that if we’re going to actually talk,” Poe added breathlessly.

Ben grinned in response, tugging Poe across the room, sitting down in one of the few comfortable chairs scattered around his living space and pulling Poe to stand in the V of his legs, both of the pilots hands held in his. “I didn’t think you’d ever want to speak to me again considering how we parted and I had thought you were avoiding Naboo because of me.”

“I was,” Poe admitted, when his head finally cleared enough for him to think straight, “avoiding Naboo, that is. I needed time to figure a few things out, spend some time on my own before I could sort out what we were to each other.” Wow, this was harder than Poe had thought it would be. “Ben, I don’t know if we’ll ever be what we could have been to each other, I mean you know if things hadn’t gone the way they had and Snoke hadn’t intervened, but I do still love you, probably always will and I want to make this, make us, work.”

Poe could see the hope blooming in Ben’s eyes when the Jedi looked up at him. “And the fear you used to feel, dealing with the power I hold, what about that?”

Poe shuffled his feet, searching for the right words, one hand coming up to comb through Ben’s long dark hair as one of Ben’s hands wrapped around Poe’s hip, pulling him in closer, resting his chin on Poe’s stomach to stare up at him. “I’m not afraid, at least not of you anymore. I still flinch at casual displays of the Force and I don't know if the nightmares will every completely go away, but I know now that I don't have to fear you. I get what you actually want from me now.” Poe reached into his jacket, pulling a thin dura steel collar attached to a slim length of chain. “I ended up keeping this with me and to be honest I’m not even sure why I did, but I think I’m starting to understand.” He undid the latch of the collar, lifting it up to secure it around his throat, trying to ignore the way Ben’s eyes darkened so that he could finish what he needed to say. “That possessive side of you, the side that I once thought spurred you to try and force things upon me that I did not want, that I had always thought had been characteristics exclusive to Kylo Ren and completely absent in Ben, they don't come from a need to own or control like Snoke convinced you, they are not born from the darkeness but rather from your need to protect and care for me. 

“This,” he said as he tapped on the dura steel, “isn’t just a claim on me in your mind, it’s a constant reminder that I’m yours to protect and that all you really want is to take care of me. but more than any of that, it's a sign that I trust you to do just that. It took me three long years to figure this out, but I get it now.”

“And you’re ok with this?” Ben asked, giving a soft tug on the end of the chain, grin splitting across his face when Poe’s breath caught as the collar tightened around his throat. 

“More than ok,” Poe answered breathlessly. “Just no Jedi mind tricks, I may get that you’d never try to influence my thoughts or desires now on a theoretical level, but that doesn’t mean I can promise not to freak out if you try to work your way into my mind again, even for altruistic purposes.”

Ben was smiling up at Poe now, in awe of how far they had come. “Noted," Ben responded before surging to his feet, mouth back on Poe’s as he herded the pilot towards the bed. “We’ll talk more later,” he murmured against the other man’s lips, “but right now I need you in my bed.”

Poe responded with a stinging nip to Ben’s lower lip before pulling back to step closer to the bed, shrugging out of his jacket and shirt as he went, chain of the collar angling as he undressed.

Yes, time had definitely been good to Poe, Ben thought as he took in the sharp lines of Poe’s torso. Poe was thin and lean after three years of hard living, a bit too thin in Ben’s eyes, but he would fix that, he would care for Poe now. 

Ben pulled his own shirt off and Poe was back on him in a minute, mouth crushed against Ben’s. Ben’s own hands tangled in Poe’s hair, using his grip to tug Poe’s head back, exposing his throat to a series of nips and kisses that pulled a sharp groan from Poe. “Shh, it’s ok darling, we can slow down, we have all the time in the world he murmured, mouthing at Poe’s hammering pulse, marveling at the way Poe writhed against him. He needed to get Poe horizontal, and quickly if this was going to last.

A soft shove sent Poe tumbling backwards onto the bed, a quick flick of his wrist divesting Poe of his pants, leaving him in only a pair of black boxer briefs, Ben’s own following shortly thereafter.

He took a moment to look down and admire the sight Poe made in his bed. Compact, dark skin gleaming in the waning daylight that was coming in through he windows of Ben’s home, shapely thighs spread in invitation, eyes dark and hungry as he looked up at Ben. This was a sight Ben wanted to commit to memory.

“You gonna stare all day or get down here and ravish me,” Poe asked, eyebrow quirked, amused grin on his kiss bruised lips.

Ben just laughed as he climbed atop the other man, "careful what you wish for," he teased as he pressed a kiss into Poe’s neck. “I plan to have you screaming in a few minutes.”

“Sounds like a challenge.”

“Oh darling, it’s a promise.”

__

“Kriff,” Poe gasped out once Ben finally removed the hand that had been covering his mouth. Somewhere around the middle of round two, after he had rode Ben and one very spectacular blow job later he had become more than a bit vocal and Ben had had to slap a hand over his mouth lest the profanities leaving Poe’s mouth as each thrust grew harder and harder reach the ears of the padawans on the opposite side of the village that made up the academy.

Poe curled into Ben’s side as the other man pulled out, tucking his head into the crook of Ben’s shoulder. “That was....”

“Mind blowing, orgasmic, transcendent,” Ben finished for him.

“I was going to say hot.” Poe peered up at Ben, “how is it that you’re brain is still functional enough to play around with big words like that and mine feels like it has melted into a puddle of goo and I’m lucky to even form a coherent sentence.”

“Jedi perks,” Ben responded as he pulled away and got out of bed, ignoring Poe’s whine of protest and attempts to pull him back down as he padded to the fresher to grab a warm cloth to clean them up. 

“That’s not how the Force works,” Poe protested as he lay back, eyes half lidded, admiring the long lines of Ben’s retreating back, broad shoulders that tapered down to a trim wast and a fantastic arse. “You really are going to leave me out here all alone after that,” he called out when he lost sight of Ben.

“So impatient,” Ben was shaking his head when he re-emerged, damp cloth in hand as he made his way back to the bed.

“Only with you,” Poe responded, voice fond as he rose up onto his elbows to press a short sweet kiss to Ben’s lips when the other man climbed back into bed. When they parted Ben shifted down lower on the bed, gently cleaning off the mess on Poe’s stomach.

“Is this part of the taking care of me thing for you?” Poe asked before letting out a sharp yawn, eyes growing heavy as he suddenly realized how tired he was.

Ben looked up, carefully assessing Poe’s expression, searching for any troubling signs of distress and finding nothing but contentment in Poe’s face. “You’re starting to come down is all, adrenaline rush, endorphin high, after what we did it is important that you know you are loved and cared for.”

Poe nodded, sleepily, yawning again as he made grabby hands at Ben, tugging him further up the bed next to him, leaving Ben just enough time to set the now dirty rag on a side table. “Trust me Benny boy, after that I definitely know I’m loved.”

Ben wrapped his ams around Poe, letting the pilot tuck himself beneath his chin and pulling the blankets up to cover them. “What about this?” he asked, tapping on the collar still around Poe’s throat.

Poe didn’t even crack an eye open when he responded. “Leave it, I like it.”

That had a soft gentle warmth blooming in Ben’s chest. “I love you,” he stated as he pressed a kiss into Poe’s hair.

“Love you too Ben.”

It was a long strange road that lead them here, but now that he was here Poe didn’t want to be anywhere else.


End file.
